This is a story about a boy who could not eat anything, anything, without getting it all over his face. This little boy would get very embarrased whenever his mom would mention this Superpower of his. Embarrassment, however, has not stopped food-face-ness from being a fact. A cold. Hard. Fact.

He doesn't mean it. It's not on purpose. So far, it can't be stopped.

Warning to future wife: better start putting cloth napkins in that hope chest now.....